As the curtain rises on the third and final act of “Assgate,” the Final Investigation Report (the “Report”) of Ancel Glink attorneys Robert McCabe and Margaret Kostopulos has been sent to the Township Trustees with a finding that, in the absence of any corroborating evidence, Trustee Dave Carrabotta’s alleged touching/groping of Trustee Kim Jones’ derriere could not be established.

For all practical intents and purposes Carrabotta has been exonerated.

Because such a finding flew in the face of Jones’ narrative – and her supporters’ lynch-mob insistence that, lack of evidence be damned, Carrabotta was guilty and should resign his Trustee seat – it unleashed a torrent of outrage and disgust, starting with Jones’ August 5, 2018 letter to Township attorney Keri-Lyn Krafthefer that was critical of Krafthefer, the investigators from her firm, the way the investigation was conducted, and its findings.

That Jones’ first shots were fired at Krafthefer and her two law partners is deliciously ironic, given how (a) it was Jones and Supervisor Laura Morask (along with Trustee Claire McKenzie) who anointed Krafthefer’s firm as the Board’s attorneys despite the objections of Carrabotta and Trustee Susan Sweeney; (b) Jones obtained personal, secret (at that time) and free (to her) legal advice from Krafthefer that led to Jones confronting Carrabotta on May 22; and (c) Jones obtained further personal, secret (at that time) and free (to her) legal advice from Krafthefer to file the Formal Complaint necessary to give Krafthefer’s partners something tangible to investigate.

Given that Jones must have figured she had the investigation wired, it was no surprise that she voiced no objection whatsoever to the free advice Krafthefer gave her, to Ancel Glink attorneys conducting the investigation, or to how the investigation was being conducted while it was going on.

But even hand-picked attorneys couldn’t wire the investigation when the only arguably corroborating evidence – consisting of nothing more than hearsay/lies(?) by Jones’ buddies, Clerk Peter Gialamas and Road Commissioner Wally Kazmierczak, about two other cases of alleged Carrabotta harassment – was blown away when the subjects of that hearsay, Dayna Berman and Vicki Rizzo, assured the investigators that not only were they not harassed by Carrabotta but that they had no problem with him whatsoever.

In other words, the Jones/RINO frame-up of Carrabotta failed because Berman and Rizzo wouldn’t lie for the RINOs.

So Jones decided to do what she should have done from the very beginning, and which would have cost the Township nothing: Filed complaints with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (the “EEOC”) and the Illinois Dept. of Human Rights (the “IDHR”) instead of with the Township. We look forward to seeing how those two investigative bodies will view Jones’ narrative and non-evidence.

Then came the August 6 special meeting called by Reformers McKenzie and Sweeney for the single purpose of voting to release the Report to the taxpayers who paid for it, after Supervisor Laura Morask refused to release it upon McKenzie’s and Sweeney’s informal request. And although Morask’s revisionist history of these events includes her scheduling an August 8 special meeting, no such meeting was ever scheduled either before or after McKenzie and Sweeney called for theirs.

Neither Jones nor Morask attended the August 6 meeting: Jones claimed to be on vacation that night, and Morask claimed to be in the hospital for tests. Not surprisingly, their RINO allies – Gialamas, Kazmierczak and the Non-Assessor Susan Moylan-Krey (conveniently, Rep. Marty Moylan’s ex-wife) – also stayed away, presumably as a show of political solidarity with Jones and Morask against Carrabotta and his fellow Reformers.

Notwithstanding the RINO boycott, The Reformers lawfully voted to release the Report to the public. At that same meeting several citizens spoke in favor of the Report’s release, with Park Ridge Library Trustee Mike Reardon, Park Ridge-Niles School District 64 Board member Larry Ryles, Illinois Supreme Court Commission on Professionalism Executive Director Jayne Reardon and Park Ridge Library Trustee Joe Egan providing commentary worth watching – from the 13:05 mark to the 21:52 mark of the meeting video – and which should be required viewing by the RINOs even if they are incapable of learning anything from it.

The full complement of RINO officials showed up at the August 28 meeting, however, for what turned into a pep rally for Jones. Some of the more noteworthy cheers belonged to failed Township Trustee candidate (and short-lived Township payroller), Kelly Schaefer, who insisted (from 19:49 to 20:30 of the meeting video) that “while due process is categorically important, not victimizing the victim is more important.” Hopefully, Ms. Schaefer will feel that way the next time she tries to victimize the Township’s taxpayers by accepting a $30,000+ part-time, make-work job created by her BFF Morask.

Also worth listening to are Kristina Keller’s ipse dixit grand pronouncements (from 41:10 to 42:00) that “Most people who are victims of sexual assault and sexual harassment rarely lie about it” and “Kim is not lying about this”; and Ginger Pennington’s argument (from 38:20 to 40:15) that whether or not Carrabotta actually touched Jones really doesn’t matter so long as Jones “earnestly felt uncomfortable with what she felt was contact.”

But the highlight, by far, was the clownish performance of State Rep. Marty Moylan (D. 55th Dist.), who proved beyond any doubt – in just over a minute (from 35:05 to 36:28) of bloviating – that he is the most disingenuous political gas-bag in all of Maine Township, as can be seen from his locker room-style pep talk that began with “this isn’t about knocking Dave off the Board” but then closed with: “Dave should resign now!” All that was missing was a “Let us pray.”

The final scene of this play occurs outside Township Hall on September 26 with Jones shooting at anything that moves: Carrabotta individually and with fellow Reformers McKenzie and Sweeney (calling them, politically, the “Bloc of 3”); attorney Keri-Lyn Krafthefer for giving Jones bad free advice about meeting with Carrabotta, signing the Formal Complaint, and recommending that her partners conduct the investigation; anybody who questions whether she was harassed by Carrabotta; anybody who would dare to suggest this kerfuffle was a political ploy by her and her fellow RINOs to break The Reformers’ “Bloc of 3” majority; and, finally, Republican committeeman Char Foss-Eggemann for not siding with her and her unproved allegations against another Republican Trustee.

Drop the curtain, raise the house lights.

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