Only four “ordinary” Park Ridge citizens reportedly attended any part of Park Ridge city government’s “strategic planning” extravaganza this past weekend at the Park Ridge Public Library.  But from the sound of things, the best the taxpaying residents of this community can hope for is that it was merely a waste of time and $19,500.

That’s because the “strategic” ideas coming out of the two planning sessions were pretty much just re-hashes of the “same old same old” we’ve been hearing for years.  That’s the good news.  But some of those re-hashed same olds – the ones that are going to cost us the most money and/or bury us in even more debt, of course – might have received a shot of steroids from the group-think process, making them even more dangerous than before.

Let’s start with the big new police station that Mayor Howard “Let’s Make A Deal” Frimark has been trying to build so that he can have the taxpayers throw a few million dollars at one or another of his buddies or campaign contributors who wants to dump one of their Park Ridge properties but can’t find a ready, willing and able buyer.  Say somebody like…oh…umm…hmmm…Bill Napleton?  

If we were to believe the opinions of the elected and appointed officials, along with the higher-level bureaucrats in attendance, not only do we need to spend at least $16.5 million (not including the land costs and 20+ years of bond interest) on a new cop shop, but a majority of our residents support such a project – or would support it if only they understood just how necessary it is. 

Our resident “Chicken Little,” Frimark Alderpuppet Jim Allegretti (4th Ward), reportedly went so far with his “the sky is falling” predictions that he actually suggested that (1) criminals arrested by our police might start staging slip-and-fall “accidents” on the steps into the current station just so they could file personal injury lawsuits – with the help of a network of slick P.I. attorneys who would target the Park Ridge police station as a kind of slip-and-fall “honey hole.”; and (2) our female police officers will start filing discrimination suits because of all the years of having inadequate and unequal locker room facilities.   

Gee, Jimbo, couldn’t we solve those two “legal” problems (assuming there’s even a lick of merit to either of them) for a lot less than $16.5 million? 

Not only did the big new cop shop get a ringing endorsement, but a new or expanded Library also wormed its way onto the “to do” list – although Alderpuppet Robert Ryan (5th Ward) did opine that the 2002 library referendum made clear that the citizens don’t want to see the Library moved to some other place in town, as some of the other “strategic” thinkers in the group were advocating.

Other random “strategic” ideas that came out of the brainstorming portion of the sessions included: building monument-style “gateways” to mark the entries to Park Ridge; buying up homes along the Higgins corridor and land-banking them to aid commercial developers; taking the lead on the “homeless problem”; reducing the public’s comment time at Council meetings so the meetings get done faster; doing a comprehensive sewer study to figure out what areas were flooded and what can be done to correct it; giving more economic incentives to businesses to locate here or expand their operations; more façade improvements in South Park and around the Dee Road METRA station; and better “selling” of residents on various projects and plans.

As one of the “ordinary” citizens in attendance observed, if these sessions had been televised or videorecorded and shown to the public, he’d like to have the torches and ropes concession for the citizens who would march on City Hall. 

We suspect that’s a bit extreme, although we do find it interesting that the City Council chose not to record those proceedings so that there would be a verbatim record of everything that was said, how it was said, and who said it. 

But apparently our public officials didn’t want any evidence that couldn’t be sanitized for the protection of the delicate sensibilities of us average citizens.  So those of you who want to find out more details will need to wait for Jennifer Johnson’s account in this week’s Herald-Advocate, or wait for the “official” report that the highly-paid “facilitator” indicated would be forthcoming – hopefully as part of the $19,500 price.

Oh, by the way: Despite the talk about all the great things on which the City might spend bundles of money, the actual cost of things was virtually ignored. And, not surprisingly, nobody reportedly had any solid ideas for generating the revenue needed to pay for them, other than….wait for it…property taxes.  

But you knew that, didn’t you?